Today it starts and it ends in 5 months, I’ll update more soon
Today I hugged my mother and I was scared of snapping her neck the entire time
I’m currently in the process about getting a diagnosis for what I think is harm OCD, I’m currently crying my eyes out trying to fight my urges to stab someone. My life is ruined.
I’ve always had a good soul yet lately I have had extremely invasive thoughts of wanting to harm those around me. I don’t want to hurt anyone, I know hurting people is wrong yet still I have these dark, scary thoughts of wanting to hurt people. I have began completely isolating myself from anyone I have urges to harm. I quit church because I wanted to hurt a friend of mine I see there. I don’t know what to do. I tried suicide because I shouldn’t be alive if I have a risk of hurting people, but it failed. I shouldn’t be alive if it puts others at risk.
Maybe I’m going crazy, I don’t care anymore I’m genuinely happy because I stopped giving a fuck
I don’t know if my actions will cause me death or not. To be honest I’m ok with either. The pills are already downed and it’s all up to god now. My final words are this though if god does so choose to make them my final “I love you kitten, and I’ll never stop loving you”